My sister would turn 45 years old tomorrow, May 1, 2023, if she were still alive.
Over two years has passed since Sharon died and I think of her so often. The saddest thing to me is that I didn't know her, didn't appreciate her, didn't love her well until the end of her life. I feel as though I know her more now than I did then, and that is an odd feeling sometimes.
Sharon was 21 months younger than I was; the closest in age of all my siblings, but not the closest in friendship. During graduate school, I self-diagnosed myself and pretty much all of my family members with some form of disorder. (I believe that is a requirement for any medical/nursing professional school!) I continue to believe that Sharon had Asperger's Syndrome, but she was never tested or diagnosed. Like many with Asperger's, Sharon was so intelligent it was almost startling how her mind worked, how much she retained, and how wide her knowledge base. And, like many with Asperger's, Sharon was socially awkward, had a hard time connecting with people, and was more alone than others. She loved to read and write. She was an artist who painted, threw pottery, drew, knitted, dreamed. I would say that I had no artistic ability because Sharon got my share...if anyone ever sees my "artwork" they would agree!
I have some of Sharon's artwork, some of her prayer journals, some of her writings. She started organizing a journal/book about her cancer journey, but it was left unfinished. I have learned about her heart through these items and feel like I see her for who she really was. An absolutely amazing woman who loved God deeply and loved serving others in so many ways. She donated her time and talent to paint murals in a Greenwood, TX library, she knit and sewed countless hats to donate to cancer victims, she wrote cards and letters to so many, and I could go on and on. Her prayer journal humbles me and encourages me. She not only wrote down her prayer requests and praises, but so many times she noted, sometimes several years later, when a prayer was answered and how it was answered! It humbled me to see my name and prayers for me in there...she was so special.
During her last ER visit, I sat with her for several hours until she was admitted, and we talked more openly about so many things than we ever had before. I am so grateful for those hours. I am so grateful that we were able to bring her home under hospice care and have the precious time to care for her during her last days on this earth. Her death solidified in my mind that I wanted to work in hospice someday. Every shift, every patient and family member I serve now I try to serve them as if it was my dad or Sharon that I am caring for, not just another patient. It breaks my heart that I didn't know her better this side of Heaven, but I know that is where she is now. I know she is where her heart longed to be and that makes me so happy for her!
Her last notebook that includes thoughts on her cancer journey and her last will and testament ends with the words of a hymn. It's not a familiar hymn and I imagine it's one she discovered in some of her in depth studying of various topics. I love to read it when I am missing Sharon, missing the friendship that I wish we had. Because I know we will have eternity to be friends, sisters and fellow worshippers of our God, and that brings me peace.
All Is Well
Sharon Renea Woodring; May 1, 1978 - January 29, 2021
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