Growing up my Mamaw always said "Lord willing" after making or hearing a statement of a future event. It flowed from her lips the same way that "Bless you" comes readily upon hearing someone sneeze. It was part of her vernacular and habit but, even at a young and immature age, I sensed that there was something special about this phrase. Recently while studying James, our home group re-discovered James 4:15: Instead, you ought to say, "If it's the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that." We all had read this book before and had undoubtedly read this verse numerous times. For several of us in the group it seemed to be the first time we saw the connection between this scripture and a phrase that we've heard others in our lives frequently make. I realized why it seemed special when my Mamaw would say these words; she was praying scripture which holds the power of God. As the context of the verse details, we have no real control over our next hours or days. We make plans for the future when the reality is that we are a mist that appears for a little while and then disappears. (v.14) Every breath I take and every beat of my heart is granted to me by God alone and, only by God's grace, will I see tomorrow to carry out any plans I make. Is it wrong to make plans then? No. The reality of life is that we move forward day by day expecting to be here to carry out our tasks, our to-do lists, and our jobs. Otherwise we would do nothing, and that is not supported by scripture. But, we do these things with the prayer "Lord willing" in our hearts and on our lips. Understanding that it is by His power alone that we are able to do anything. If I am truly desiring to follow God's will for my life I have to constantly look to Him for guidance, for understanding of my circumstances, and for direction on my path.
The past two years have been adventuresome and wonderful. I was able to work as a home birth midwife for a season and, when that season came to an end, I was able to return to my old position at Women's Wellness Center. The Lord closed many doors that I desired to walk through and, though I didn't understand why, I trusted that He had other plans for me. I will never on this earth see the entire picture, but I have learned personally what it means for me to walk in faith and that makes me excited to see where God will lead me next!
It is with the prayer "Lord willing" in my heart and on my lips that we make arrangements for the next step in our lives. For now, our next step is Covington, Georgia.
I have accepted a midwifery position with Covington Women's Health Specialists and will start work there in September, Lord willing. I feel in some ways as though I am going home. I attended my first birth with this practice in 2005 as a student midwife. I met my husband while in that school rotation, and many of his family members live there or nearby. We always said that we desired to move closer to one side of the family at some point in our lives. This opportunity allows us to do that.
For now, I will work in Covington and come home on weekends when not on call. Mark will remain here working and we will try to sell our house. We are grateful that the distance is not too great to allow us to do this as we know many families separated for months or longer for work or military service, etc. I am also grateful that this allows us to continue worshiping with our church family here in Toccoa a little longer. Saying goodbye to Toccoa and those we love here will be difficult, but we walk forward believing that God is providing this opportunity and guiding our steps along the way.
