Transitions are oftentimes difficult. Transitions are oftentimes feared, resisted, and avoided. Transitions are an integral part of being a human, but that doesn't mean we always like them.
In birth, transition is the final phase between two stages of labor: the dilating and the delivering stages. Transition in labor is frequently the most difficult part. Women fear that they can't continue in labor, they resist the overwhelming sensations that come in unrelenting waves, and they may not understand they are so close to the end. That they are preparing to move on to the final stage when they will soon be rewarded for their labors. Assisting women through this transition of labor has been both incredibly challenging but also incredibly rewarding for me as a midwife.
Birth is our first transition into this world. We move into a new arena where our entire lives literally are in front of us. The possibilities, for many, are seemingly endless. What will our childhood look like? Will we be a scholar or an athlete (or both)? Will we go to college, will we marry, will we have children of our own? Will we be happy, will we be a kind person, will we contribute to society in a beneficial or harmful way? Will we grow old? The questions are absolutely endless...
What about our final transition? Death and leaving this world we know and sometimes love. Over the past several years, I have said goodbye to a number of family members in this final transition. In 2016, my father passed away from pancreatic cancer. In 2021, my sister passed away from melanoma. In 2021, my father-in-law passed away from cancer. In 2022, my grandfather (in-law) passed away at the ripe old age of 94. I lost other family members prior to 2016, but I was younger, and they didn't have the same impact on me as these. Perhaps it was because I had not yet walked with so many through life transitions and I didn't see them in the same light as I do now.
I was privileged, and I don't use that phrase lightly, to be at the bedside of both my father and my sister as they made their transition from life to death. Moments I will never forget and that changed me profoundly.
It may sound strange to some, but there are incredible similarities between the transitions of birth and death in my mind. Breath - the breath of life at birth starts and at death ends. Watching and witnessing a baby breathe their first breath and take that first cry is an honor. Holding space and witnessing the final breath of someone is no less an honor. Birth is moving from an inner world we don't see clearly to our known existence. Death is moving again into a world we don't see clearly, but one day all will experience. Walking with the person through labor and birth, and also walking with a person and the family through death, are much about stillness, listening, support, encouraging, holding on, letting go. No two births are the same and no two deaths are the same, but everyone on this earth will make these two incredible transitions.
With these and many other musings in mind, I am transitioning from my role as midwife to one of hospice nurse. I have worked my last shift as a midwife with Covington Women's Health Specialists; possibly delivered my last baby. And I start my new path in February with an inpatient hospice facility in Macon, Georgia. This, as with most transitions, has had its difficulties. Saying "see you later" to dear friends and colleagues was harder than any other past career move. Maybe because I am moving away from full time midwifery to something new it seems more challenging...I cannot say for sure.
Midwifery care and hospice care, to me, are holy endeavors. I believe that God gives us breath and numbers our days. He alone knows the moments of our birth and death. To be able to journey with families through these two most significant transitions of our lives is something I am so blessed to do as a career. To God be the glory in my future path is my prayer!
