Dreams Keeping Me Awake

The past several months have brought a resurgence to my desires to have a better birthing world established here for the women of Toccoa. I am staying awake at night because I keep imagining all the possibilities of getting my dream up and running. Of course, the main limiting factor is money, so I believe I will need to become accomplished in grant writing.

Several years ago I read of a midwifery practice in Taos, NM and I've dreamed of recreating that for myself. I feel like things could be moving in that direction, and I feel that God is leading me down a path that will one day maybe reach this goal. That is my hope anyway.

There is an empty apartment building right in town that has been for sale since I moved here (5 years ago) that I feel would be perfect for the midwifery clinic and birth center. It's a central location and only a 2 minute drive to the hospital when transfer is needed. It's a beautiful building that just stands empty and it would be wonderful to see it used again. I can see a large waiting room that can be used for meetings and education sessions. Plenty of room for offices and exam rooms. A whole floor can be the birth center with 3-4 birth suites all with large tubs. There would be space to house counselors and nutritionists and lactation counselors to help the many needs of women and families. And I've talked so much about having a clothing center for maternity clothes and baby clothes for those who can't afford them on their own.

So many dreams! How to make them a reality is the big question. I think I may need to make a trip to Taos to meet with the midwives and see what I can learn from them. It's a huge undertaking, but so needed in this town.

Lady's Hands, Lion's Heart: A Midwife's Saga

I just finished reading Lady's Hands, Lion's Heart by Carol Leonard and am again amazed, awed, humbled and rejuvenated by birth. It speaks to my heart in a way that is so tender, powerful, spiritual, miraculous, and invigorating all at the same time. I know in my soul that I am called to be a midwife and to serve God by serving women. The events that occur in pregnancy, labor and birth are sacred and it is my calling to help preserve this gift for women who I come in contact with. It is hard for me to even express how I feel because it is such a base and core emotion - this is part of my spiritual life and connection to God.

I continue to meditate on that we are knit together in the womb by God and what an unbelievable gift that is! No matter how much we know about DNA, chromosomes, genes, meiosis and mitosis, we can never understand how God forms us, molds us and breathes life into us while we are inside the womb. Praise God!

Reading works such as this fuels the fire in me to continue to support women's choices, to trust their bodies and to trust birth. Trust that God is in control and guides our ways, guides my hands as I feel how a baby is laying inside her mother's belly. Guides my intuition as I labor sit with women, guides her body as she births her child. I love in the book that Carol "attends" women and babies at their births. We don't deliver babies - we attend women and we catch babies! What an amazing honor!

I am so grateful for the journey I have taken to arrive at my present location, knowing the women that I know, serving with the midwives in my community and very much anticipating the future. I pray for many more years as a midwife to women and their families.