Endings and Beginnings

I am coming to the end of my time at Women's Wellness Center and I feel myself both longing for the next step and feeling sadness over leaving. I am so thankful for my time at Women's Wellness Center and working at Stephens County Hospital. I always thought I would be moving away from Toccoa when I left the clinic, so I am excited that my new practice allows me to remain here and maintain friendships without miles between us.

I find myself saying, "This is the last Wed/Thurs being on call for the clinic," "This is the last time going to this satellite office," "This is my last time to see this client," "This may be the last birth I attend with this particular nurse." Last week I said, "This is the last waterbirth I will attend at Stephens County Hospital." And it did not disappoint on so many levels.

My friend was expecting her fourth child, and I have been blessed to attend all of her births. Every one has been so special and unique, but there have been similarities that tie them all together in such a precious way. I was looking forward to this birth for many reasons. Her first child's birth, I believe, will always be one of my most precious memories as I reflect on my midwifery career. She and her husband are incredible musicians and songwriters and they had written a song for their firstborn. After a beautiful labor and birth, she and her husband held their daughter and sang to her the song written especially for her. Every once in awhile I listen to that song and can picture that moment replayed in my mind. Another reason this birth was so special was because it was shared with one of my best friends and midwifery partners. She was the newest midwife in our practice and had not attended many waterbirths at our clinic yet, so I came in to help set up the tub and be an extra set of hands. I didn't know if I would even stay much longer after getting things set up because it was getting late and my on call days were coming. (It's always a good idea to get a full night's sleep before a few days of call!) But, my friend's labor was progressing rapidly and I decided to stay, and I am so glad that I did. This waterbirth was one of the first that my partner and I attended together and I feel like it bonded our friendship in a special way.

My friend's second and third births were very similar, except much faster - her third was so fast I didn't know if I would get the tub filled before her baby made his appearance! Each birth was peaceful, joyful, reverent, and so full of love for this newest member of their family. Each baby heard their parents singing a song of welcome and celebration within moments of being in their arms. Their third birth was unique in that their two older children were spending the night at their grandparents' house. Her labor was so quick that no one knew they were headed to the hospital, much less that their son was born. They revelled in celebrating their son's birth completely alone, and greatly enjoyed calling to share the news a few hours later!

As her fourth child's birth approached, I realized this would be my last waterbirth as a midwife with Women's Wellness Center. I so wished my midwifery partner with whom I shared the first birth still lived here so she could also attend this birth, but I knew that wasn't possible. My friend's labor was different in some ways this time. This was her first labor and birth that would take place during daylight hours. It seemed strange to see sunlight through the window as we waited for the birth. We walked several laps in the hallway talking between contractions, mainly about the meaning behind some of their songs, before filling the tub for the remainder of her labor and birth. We talked and laughed and I stood by as her husband supported her during the contractions. I purposefully set up the tub in the same room in which she delivered her other three children, and also the room in which my midwifery partner had delivered her baby last year. That room is almost sacred to me because of the worshipful births I have attended in it and I couldn't imagine this event taking place anywhere else. As she labored in the tub, worship music filled the room; manyof the songs written and sung by her husband. Prayers were said, songs were sung, hands were lifted, and God was present in our midst. Observing this beautiful moment was overwhelming and tears of gratitude streamed down my face. Before long, their son was ready to make his appearance. His birth was peaceful and perfect and, as with his siblings, he was welcomed with singing by his parents, prayers of thanksgiving, and joy that he was here. As with their first birth, this birth was attended by two midwives. My new midwifery partner was also in attendance. She is new to our practice and was there to learn how to set up the tub and to help be an extra set of hands. I am so glad that she was able to be there with me. It wasn't until later that I thought about the connection between my friend's births and my fellow midwives - it is special to me that I have been able to pass on the tradition of waterbirth to the newest members of our team. I feel as though I passed the torch on to my new partner and know that women are in excellent hands as I transition to my new practice.

I have only a few days left, only a few more births, only a few more memories to make working at the clinic. This ending opens the door to my new beginning as a midwife with Journey of Life Midwifery. So thankful to all those who let me share in their journeys, and look forward to many more.

*Birth stories used with permission.