Semantics

Lately I have found myself more frustrated over the language surrounding birth in our society. I go through phases of correcting people when I am referred to as "the doctor." I am a midwife, not a doctor. I purposefully chose to NOT go to medical school and become an OB/GYN because I felt that midwifery was my calling and fit my philosophy more so than the medical model. To many they see no difference. To me, there is a vast difference because I know that midwifery is it's own profession and has it's own philosophy. There are definite times that a doctor or surgeon is needed, and I am so grateful that they are there, but that is not my role.

Since becoming a midwife, I have noticed my word choices have changed regarding the birth of the baby. I admit that I used to say that "I delivered so-and-so." Over time, this changed to "catching the baby." I've now settled into being the one in "attendance at the birth" or "receiving the baby." Many may see this trivial, but I feel there is a true fundamental difference behind these words. So many times women will ask who will be there to deliver the baby? I purposefully tell them that they will be the one delivering the baby and explain who may be there in attendance for the birth. I think it is so important for women to see themselves as the one responsible for delivering their child. It's a shift in perspective that is empowering and emboldens women to take on the role of motherhood.

I notice the difference in wording especially between women who choose homebirth or out of hospital birth in a birth center and women in the hospital. I don't believe I've ever heard a woman who birthed outside the hospital referring to their midwife or doctor as the one who delivered their child. When women or family members refer to me as the one who delivered their baby I again purposefully say that I did not do the work of delivery and that the mother is the one who deserves all the credit for that event.

Midwife means "with woman" and that is my role - to be with a woman as she grows her baby during pregnancy, to be with a woman as she labors and to be the attendant at birth. I am an attendant, an aid, a resource for women. Some women need more guidance than others during this journey and my job is to meet them where they are and walk with them to motherhood. I cannot do the work for them.

As I walk with women through this journey, I hope that they do learn to see themselves as the one responsible for their babies. I want women to realize that they are in control of what they eat, what they put into their bodies and therefore into their babies. I want women to realize that they have a job to do in labor and that, by doing this job, they gain confidence in their abilities to be the mother of their child. I want women to realize that pregnancy and birth is an opportunity to discover an amazing quality they possess - to be a mother - and that this is their most important role of their life.